Vajazzle

Latest Update News About Vajazzling, To vajazzle or not to vajazzle? That is the question.: First and foremost, I would like to kick off my first column with a small introduction. Naturally, every newspaper is not complete without a sex columnist, and I am fortunate enough to be yours this semester. I know that I have some big shoes to fill from our previous writer, Jon Tingley, of the beloved “Feelin’ Tingley.” However, I will do my very best to talk about sex and all that comes with it. Now, without further ado, let’s get down to business.

I came across some interesting information this past summer. If you’ve ever wondered what you’d get if you crossed a thoroughly waxed vagina with an Ed Hardy T-shirt (and if you haven’t wondered, well I’m sure you do now!), then this is your lucky day. Turns out this is the recipe for a vajazzled vagina. Yes, there is a new fad going around, and it’s not just Silly Bands or gladiator sandals. Apparently women are now bedazzling their vajayjays all over the country.

How does one vajazzle? (Yes, it’s a verb now.) Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you. First, you’re vigorously waxed from top to bottom. Then a plethora of Swarovski crystals are glued onto your nether-regions (specifically, the pubic area, not the labia) in any artful shape or form of your choice. And voilà! You have just successfully accessorized your privates. This entire process costs over $115 and lasts for about five days.

It has been said that Jennifer Love Hewitt started this new trend when she went public with her new bedazzled situation on the Lopez Tonight Show. However, this trend has actually been around for a few years now. Nonetheless, the trend exploded after Hewitt’s announcement and has sent vajazzle-crazed women into a frenzy, including celebrities like the Kardashians (but who’s surprised?).

I think it’s quite interesting how what makes an acceptably groomed vagina has changed throughout the years. First we went from resembling the classic caveman to preening a Lenny-Kravitz afro. Later came the Playboy landing strip, which progressively lead to the painful yet notorious Brazilian Wax. I really can’t think of how we will top the vajazzled vagina.

However, bedazzling a vagina is not what I find truly interesting in this case. Consider how open our society is to the idea of sex and what we will do to ourselves to feel sexy. If you think about it, not even 60 years ago women and men were sleeping in dual twin-size beds. Having sex was not necessarily on the agenda every night. Now, it seems that sex is on the agenda everywhere you go — from billboards to movies and now to Swarovski-crystal Britney’s. It’s difficult to ignore it.

I feel that bringing vajazzling into the mainstream is only the beginning of what may become avant-garde sexual behavior. In order to handle what will come next, we simply must have an open mind. Remember your mom’s advice: don’t be afraid to try something new. (However, when your mom said that she was probably referring to eating more vegetables.) Nonetheless, I fully support a mother’s advice in any scenario. So, my lovely readers, I ask you to brace yourself for what may some next and don’t knock a vajazzle until you try it!

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